To Sleep

It’s 3:56 am, the rain hits the walls like a drum line battery and

Feelings of loss and abandonment

Pour into my mind like

Gasoline into my broken down sedan

This Friday night found me

Reading Bukowski under red and green warehouse lights

Christmas music in my right ear

The drone of machinery in my left

Bukowski would’ve hated me and my friends

But this month he’s spoken to me more than my friends have

And it makes me wonder if he ever had friends like mine

And if he had ever left his friends like me

At first I thought I was sad because I lost a girl

Then I thought it was the depression

Then I blamed it on my bad attitude

Now I think I just need some sleep

But I’m not gonna sleep until next year

Not really